<h1 style="text-align: center;">Text Messaging in Modern Dating: Navigating the Catch-22</h1>
<p style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://media.istockphoto.com/id/1179582364/photo/top-above-high-angle-view-close-up-portrait-of-her-she-nice-attractive-lovely-flirt-charming.jpg?s=612x612&w=0&k=20&c=NMlfTUP5gBIZ1FrMlEdzLdzv4_m8CmufIuALzr6BRaA=" alt="" width="800" /></p>
<p>… the more you risk losing attraction in a girl. This goes double for the modern smart phone wielding players, <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/">dating website enthusiasts</a>, and <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Spain/city-of-Madrid.html?page=86">craigslist shoppers</a> – but also for brief pick ups where phone numbers exchanged, and she hasn’t had enough time to fully have attraction for you, outside of your witty banter and proper body language… you’re still most likely not the first guy to give her their number, that day, and more likely, not the last. There is a strong desire to use text game or message game in order to build attraction in order to make the meeting easier to transition to the end game, for the notch. The normal man brain will think that he needs to chat her up so she doesn’t lose interest or desire to go out with you, or some other guy doesn’t come around and presents a more attractive offer for her. So he may over game in his messages, especially with early and heavy flirting and attraction over messaging. However, balanced messaging techniques and understanding the dynamics of online attraction <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/14/how-to-be-what-women-want/" rel="dofollow">can prevent overexposure and keep attraction alive</a>.</p>
<h2>The Myth of “Just Be Yourself” and Mood Fluctuations</h2>
<p>But not only that, but it also drives a stake through the heart of the ‘just be yourself’ crowd, for one, there is never really one true you, we all have different moods, different levels of neediness or aloofness depending on what’s going on in our lives, we are in constant flux, just like everything else in nature… a player can overcome these mostly, using game can make you seem more even keeled and aloof, and you can be aloof overall, but there are still times that you’re more aloof and less aloof, no matter if you’re the highest ranking alpha male on the planet. We’re all human, and we all have fluctuations. Recognizing how to master emotional fluctuations and present confidence regardless <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/05/10/5-things-that-make-you-beta-in-a-relationship/" rel="dofollow">is key to authentic attraction</a>. So, let’s say you’re in the <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Spain-dating-service.html?page=19">mood just to text a girl</a>? And in the process you destroyed all attraction for you, there isn’t even enough connection between you to friend zone you, you’re just some random dude, and in the girl’s world, there’s a never ending supply of guys just like you or better. So if that was you, just being you, because you liked to talk, message, you ain’t gonna get a date, despite just being you… you are left doing this over and over and over again until one hopeful chance at meeting a girl that likes that too. The old Hollywood fairytale nonsense. It just isn’t a good strategy, because I don’t care how internally strong you are, constant rejection will destroy a soul and make it bitter.</p>
<h2>Outed by What You Say and How Much</h2>
<p>There are many things in society that I will do, just to disprove the lies that are spread around the normal sphere of people – the people who aren’t in on the secret, the cool code, the experienced in the sphere that people who are hooking up, partying, playing, live in. If you’re outside the bubble, you will be outed by what you say, and more importantly how much you say. The lies are what destroy men, and women. It’s amazing how much these lies are also said and preached on the surface, and how little it is practiced when the individual’s own needs and pursuit of pleasure are at stake. Girls who will preach about gender neutral equality and demand respect and act like a man, but still demand a dominant man who takes control. Which one do you think trumps the other? She’ll throw away all that respect crap for the type of guy who can take control of the crazy mess. Navigating these contradictions and practicing mindful engagement <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/03/20/10-helpful-tips-for-a-healthy-relationship/" rel="dofollow">is essential for long-term success</a>.</p>
<h2>Balancing Text Message Quantity and Timing</h2>
<p>There are no concrete rules for how much you text, or message or say, the more brief the better, the consensus of alpha behavior is brevity is the path to her bed, however, too brief isn’t going to cut it either. You still have to build some attraction, so that her going out with you isn’t one, too scary, or two, forgotten after you message her. The consensus still remains good practice, text her 1 time to every 3 texts, let her send the last text, leave 3 times more time between texts than you want to, etc. However, this has to be after you feel like you’ve hooked her interest. If you are trying to get interest, you need to do a little more messaging than you will after you feel she’s hooked.</p>
<p>Ex: You suggest a night for a drink, she agrees to it and the time and place, and seems in her messages to be somewhat enthusiastic. Then you can go on the traditional 3-1 messages. If she is wavering, you’ll need to text her off topic for a bit in order to calm her reservations. If she’s wavering, she thinks something’s off about you – and this is where you can get into trouble. How much is too much? How much do you message in this case? The more you do, the more her reservations will be justified. Remember, single girls are looking for reasons to disqualify you, it sounds stupid, because it shouldn’t be in her interest, but if you had 100 girls going after you each day, you’re gonna know you can be as picky as girls are. They can afford it, and that’s the simple reality of the modern dating scene. So you’re in a catch 22, messaging too much you’re out, not messaging enough, you’re probably out ’cause someone hooked her better than you. What to do? If a girl is wavering, there’s not a whole lot you can do, to be honest. Trying to overcome her reservations is a fool’s game, it’s almost impossible to get a girl off her first vibe from you – despite what Hollywood says. It’s a fool’s gambit. Don’t even bother. If she’s hot and you really want to bone her, and think, hey I want to give it the old college try, text very infrequently, and text something random, and don’t respond to her inquisitiveness until much, much, much later, hours, a day. <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/Spain-dating-service.html?gender=female">With these single girls</a> you do need to be the aggressor in the messaging, meaning, you’ll need to break the deafening silence, and then see if your hook gets a nibble, if it gets a nibble you wait. Then respond a day later with something completely unrelated, like an offer for drinks, and that you’re at a bar. The only way to change a girl who’s doubting you, is to choose a few key moments of ‘you don’t give a shit about whether she comes or not’ without actually not giving a shit, because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t even bother. It is a finesse game, and not for the impatient. Patience is the key requirement, and the ability to not care about her reactions, and her rejection. If she still doesn’t bite, move on to the next one.</p>